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8 ways I know I'm being called from a call centre

Martin Johnson - Thursday, October 15, 2015

(This is a bit OT, but I've posted it for what it's worth)

Whilst I hate to encourage people who cold call you and try to sell you everything from solar roof panels to security upgrades for your Windows PC, here are some hints which might make it easier for them to get the sale.
1. If when I answer the phone there is a pause of 2 or 3 seconds before I hear anyone speak - then I know I’m on the end of an outbound call centre. Nothing you can say after that will make be think otherwise. Please understand this.
2. If there is a ‘hiss’ on the line, then I know you’re calling from an overseas call centre. Please understand this.
3. If you ask to speak to ‘Mr Johnson’, then you’ve either called me instead of my Dad or you’re selling something. My friends know it’s me. Please understand this.
4. If you have an accent (of any kind) then I know you are calling from a call centre. Please understand this.
5. If you ask me about ‘my day’ and ‘how has it been so far’, then I know you’re calling from a call centre. None of my friends call me and ask me about ‘my day’. They just get on with the call. Please understand this.
6. If it’s obvious you’re reading from a script (and after 35+ years in broadcasting, I’ll know) then I know you’re calling from a call centre. Please understand this.
7. If you try to sell me house cladding or a Windows security upgrade, then I know you know nothing about me, my computers or my house and are calling from a call centre.
8. If you respond to my question, “what are you selling” with “nothing Mr Johnson”, then I know you are in fact selling something and you are calling from a call centre.

So is there anyway you’re going to get me to buy whatever it is you’re selling? No way - especially when I have at least eight warning signs that tell me you’re calling from a call centre.

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